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Dear Miss Jia,
I won’t make this letter long and drawn out but I just need answers on what to do. I have been dating this guy for over two years and while things are great, we’re nowhere near the point of marriage or anything like that…at least in MY eyes we’re not. While I do love him to death, I still feel that we both have a lot of growing up to do. I’m 24, he’s 25. About two weeks ago, I started feeling a little queasy, took a pregnancy test and found out that I was pregnant.

To date, I still have not told anybody but my best friend. In the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he was 100% against abortion. I told him that I felt that it was a woman’s right and because of that, we have used protection. I skipped a pack of birth control pills and look what happens.

Anyway, I have scheduled an appointment to terminate the pregnancy on Monday. So I really need help with this as soon as possible, Jia. I don’t know if I should tell him that I am having the abortion and risk him being angry enough to leave or keep it to myself and act like nothing’s ever happened. I don’t think that it’s being deceptive because he doesn’t even know that I’m pregnant. What do you think I should do?

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Thanks for writing this letter. You’re definitely dealing with a tough issue and it’s hard for me to really speak on it because I feel bad for the both of you…for you b/c you’re having to make a decision like this and for him b/c he doesn’t know and can’t help you with the decision that you’ve made. IMO, yes it is being deceptive. You two created a child together. He’s openly expressed how he feels about abortion and, well…the deception comes in with you not telling him that you’re pregnant and subsequently not telling him that you’re choosing to abort the child. In situations like this, you have to ask yourself…how would you feel if he kept a big secret from you? Would you feel betrayed?

I can’t tell you what to do with your body, especially given your situation and you stating that you’re not ready. But I do feel that it’s only fair to at least let him know, especially if you want to continue on in a relationship with him. Imagine if he found out about your abortion through other means?

Good luck….

Continued here:
Ask Miss Jia: Should I Tell Him About the Abortion?